Randomly? This is dangerous cold, son. This is get-frostbite-on-any-exposed-skin-in-just-a-few-minutes cold, you know, like the few minutes going from between the house and car/bus stop (remembering that cars take some time to warm up and there’s typically a wait for a bus) and then again between transportation and…

I feel so sorry for people who are not autistic. This type of systemizing is instinctive to us.

I was a chocolate wine skeptic, but I tried something I found at the dollar store. It was FANTASTIC. It was not too sweet—just sweet enough to balance the acidity of the wine to match it with the chocolate. OMG. I’m a convert.

Chocolate wine is DELICIOUS. I was skeptical, but I tried it, a dollar store brand, no less, and the one I tried ROCKED.

And I am sure those people are only alcohol free for Drynuary, too.

Go ahead and do whatever it takes to make yourself feel superior. Warn him about the alcohol content of bread, too.

“Me, too,” said another man in the conversation.

Yes, there is alcohol in bitters, but a few shakes add only a trace

Good luck! Have a fortifying piece of pizza on the way in.

Thank you for the weekly kitty pics. I love them.

I love that shirt.

Dude, just use baby wipes or flushable wipes (do not flush) for grown ups. Christ, does it have to be blue and sport a ripped guy on the front for you to figure out that you can use it on your dick?

1) is a thing that existed once. I can’t remember the brand, but I remember the marketing posters had a pair of kiwi fruits. The TV spots had a dude with dad bod in a towel.

made one or two men feel like they need to buy shit to keep their junk smelling all nice.

frybread is a food from one of our lowest points of our histories

“But she COOKED the baby!!!!”

We know what you think you are saying, son.

The times I have misjudged my capacity for booze and gotten drunk, I have been miserable. I don’t get the appeal.

Dude, she didn’t give up drinking *at* you. She doesn’t even know you exist. It wasn’t about you, so don’t make it about you.

It’s not learned helplessness, it’s strategic incompetence.