If convicted, he faces death by lethal injection at the hands of the country he sought to claim as his own.

The recipe calls for “maple-flavored syrup.” This isn’t haute cuisine, ‘k? 

Look, I’ve had people run into me. How many people run from other people bc they run into you?  Very, very few. We pretty much assume that people are not going to run into us bc eyesight and figure the ones who do are anomalies. Be afraid of bats if you want, but unless you are equally afraid of humans, you are…

Why oh why do 99% of people not close the lid in their house? And why do 100% of those people leave my toilet lid up when at my house?

Dude was a foot fetishist who apparently never got the memo that female ballet dancers have the ugliest feet ever. Dancing en pointe is rough on the toes.

Ewww. I would probably eat the goose anyway.

I want to go to a Mode Christmas party

Wow, I’m sorry. That must have felt awful. Unless you are poly and metamours are your jam, the first rule of casual dating is don’t cross the streams. I hope you stopped seeing him.

Or possibly you rollerbladed into the bat’s path. As a general rule, humans don’t collide with things either bc eyesight. You can always find exceptions, though.

Oh, I’m so jealous! Can I be your date!

Did the adults not just sit on the floor? Toddlers on the floor are liable to be stepped on, which is why I think adults should have made way on the couches for them. Not my Christmas, not my monkeys.

The adults got the limited seating on basis of age, so all us rugrats were on our own and never really got a spot to sit for hours. One year one of my younger cousins was super antsy and fussy, she was 2ish

They won’t actually hit you. We got bats in our building in grad school sometimes. When they weren’t buzzing us, they would perch on the bulletin boards.

I hope she chewed extravagantly.

I’m sorry to hear about your uncle.

Aw, bats are cute. And they don’t fly into you bc sonar.

his height (6'4")

two women attempting to rule on a single island

My graduate lab was maybe 80% women when I joined. I was in Physics, where women make up 5-10% of the population. I overhead a male prof asking my advisor whether he had a harem. My advisor replied with, “Can I quote you on that?” which is at least something.

He made sexually explicit comments at a work party to a woman he outranked. That’s what’s known as sexual harassment.