It sickens me to see such a solemn holiday cheapened to sell - oh

Lets take it one step further and say that the alternate jerseys they trotted out this weekend were hideous and an obvious attempt to just sell more merchandise. Brandon Mccarthy had it right

What are you, some kind of rocket surgeon?

I got yer vertical shaft right awww nevermind

Panthers fan here. There was concern last year, coming off his ACL injury, that his weight had ballooned. Early on in the season, there were reports of Panthers FO and coaching staff people grumbling about his “conditioning”.

Wings fan, was really hoping for an Ottawa and Nashville finals. Was still a great game to watch, and I thought karma was going to come in and help Ottawa after Pens fans started throwing shit on the ice because they can’t understand a replay or physics.

SHIT FUCK DAMMIT FUCK ASS SHIT SHIT SHIT GODDAMMIT NOT FUCKING AGAIN SHIT FUCK

Or the Lakers pass on him and he goes to Philly or Phoenix.

Did you know that the longest street in the world is Yonge Street in Toronto, Canada, measuring 1,896 km? It’s true! The record was granted by an American committee who saw the “km” after the 1,896 and said “I guess that means it’s big? Whatever. Next time measure things the normal way.” 

Nothing would be greater than the Celtics AND the Lakers passing on him and him ending up in Philly.

I’m still hoping Boston trades the first pick to Toronto who takes Ball. I want to see anarchy on draft day at the Ball family table.

No.

Some guys throw out little insults as ways of flirting. Is it condescending? Yup. Is it sexist? Sure is. Childish? Of course.

More raisist than sexist but whatever.

Ever heard of Shin-Soo Choo? Hong-Chih Kuo? Austin Bibens-Dirkx?

You mean the guy who started the season getting like 1 hit in his first 100 at bats? That guy? He can’t do anything if he isn’t on base to do it.

Gary?

I know that modern statistics tend to abhor the bunt, but the chaos Hamilton would elicit if he got good at it would be fun as hell to watch.

You are incorrect, that was Gary Hawkins, a mild-mannered landscaper. I can see why you’d get Gary Hawkins and Gary Hogeboom confused, however....they’re the same age, went to the same college at the same time and are from the same part of the country. Common mistake!

This post originally misstated the orifice from which an insect emerged. It has been corrected.