Burn

OMG YAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS

I just remembered a great one! Last month, my friend - who is the chillest, least confrontational, most mild-mannered person in the whole world - was visiting Israel and he ran into some German lady who was like, “Why can’t there just be peace?” My friend was all, “Yeah, totally” (my friend and I are both Jewish but…

burns are great but reactions are better

when i was in 2nd grade I dropped in front of the entire class that karly had a crush on Matt and then Karly started crying

‘She’s a load her mother shoulda swallowed’ as said by a dear friend when a girl I thought was a close friend royally screwed me over. It remains my favourite insult. Especially as I also knew the girls mum and she was kinda skeezy too.

I am sad to report that I can’t recall ever having delivered a sick burn. The possible exception is last weeks anecdote about a boy I liked in middle school being rude to me so years later when I drunkenly bought acid off him at a party, I pretended not to know who he was.

I’ve sort of given up on this fight, but I did find that funny. As it turns out, it’s really more of a disease of the “this should be the uterus, but it isn’t really.”

Yeah, it is way worse, scarier and more painful than people could ever imagine.

Not a disease of the uterus..

You know what else shouldn’t be tax exempt? Any church!

It would be interesting to give a bunch of pros a square bat like that and see what sort of difference it might make. It's easy to say "cricket has square bats, so why not," but also just as easy to say "cricket has a square bat since the bat has a different purpose". A square baseball bat would theoretically have an…

The Chive, like many other internet communities, is inscrutable from the outside, but is somewhat more bizarre because the outer core of material seems totally boring and mundane.

This picture basically sums up American media. Show all the gore you want. Gouge out eyeballs. Have open wounds gaping on screen. But for the love of God, don't let anyone see that he has a penis.

There's only 3 questions you need to know: 1) How many Walkers has she killed? 2) How many people has she killed? 3) Why?

LoadingReadyRun ran through this last year. I love the ridiculous dialogue.

Cue the Uncharted Music... oh wait, they actually did that. LOL

They are far more dangerous than we give them credit for being.

There's a whole lot of "thanks" in that message. Given so many people are paying for PS+ these days, a "sorry" or two couldn't have hurt.

Tell me you got that was from Die Hard, not RoboCop. It's right after John drops some C4 down an elevator, I think.