So will the Ryan brothers.

At my wedding each guest was fellated by an imported Estonian teenager with a marble table strapped to her head carrying Romulan ale in baby seal skull shot glasses.

“You’re too old to be yelling!”

Eli Manning wanted to throw him a going-away party, but it wound up wobbling about six yards out of bounds.

I know this borders on cliche by this point, but can you image the media reaction had it been Brady instead of Manning whose wife got the HGH delivered? Holy shit! The forests would burn endlessly from all the hot takez.

Anytime you can turn over a playoff team to a guy who goes a miraculous 5-9 for 69 yards without feeling in his fingers in January you gotta do it.

Would you binge the whole season at once? I think that might be too much. Probably better to watch a game or two each weekend, Thursdays if you have time.

You can get FOX and CBS with rabbit ears unless you live in some god forsaken place like Cleveland. Good effort though.

Reporter: Tom, do you like Don Trump?

- Vin Baker, before buying iced tea.

“Thanks, Russ, but it’s too late for that now”

What? Those uniforms are white and gold.

gonna go ahead and say that guinness is not actually magical

Absolutely. The G2 07, purple ink being the preference. Lightweight, smooth line, inexpensive. My go-to favorite.

Absolutely. The G2 07, purple ink being the preference. Lightweight, smooth line, inexpensive. My go-to favorite.

Pilot G-2 07 -

Pilot G-2 07 -

Also, I have Teenwolf wearing a beer helmet tattooed on the other arm. I don’t know how I have friends.

I have a used condom tattooed on my arm. I mean, I could go on, but would it help?