I made it, momma! I made Deadspin!

I’m not a shooter, but I play one on a video game console.

Always with the same formula you people!

Sarcasm. look it up, and learn how to recognize it on the Internet.

Turns out the only people who give a shit about the appropriateness of “Frisco” are Friscans.

And to think the image most people have of San Franciscans is self-important hipster douchebags. Huh.

I am going out on a limb here and say “Fuck the superbowl”. I am so tired of football utterly dominating every single conversation I hear on the news or in person. It seems that I’m the only person in america who couldnt be bothered to give two shits about this thing.

That’s why he’s in full leathers.

As a gay man, I approve of this comment. hahahaha

You are most likely correct, but that still costs tax payers money. It is not like the govt will make due with less. Every dollar someone else does not pay is one more you do.

It’s very simple logic, but since you’re not smart enough to see it, I’ll spell it out for you: Gays do butt stuff; shit comes from butts; ergo gays shit on windshields. The fact there is no urine can be contributed to the tidy nature of gays, and not wanting to get urine splatter on their suede slippers.

“Gorilla warfare” gets me every time.

Chances are actually pretty good it was the woman he was on the date with. Oh yes, I’m sure she was acting offended. But you know fucking A she was texting with her friends.

That’s what got me. Why the hell would the cops clean it off for you? Furthermore, why the hell would you ask?

Sounds like some research is in order!

Those are the best kind of friends. The ones that prey on your weaknesses.

As someone who very recently quit their job, I feel like I need to interject. Losing or quitting your job qualifies you for special enrollment, meaning that you do not need to wait for open enrollment to be insured. Yes, open enrollment is a limited time; however, there are various life events that qualify you for…

Is that a pentagram on your chest or are you just happy to see your DARK LORD?