You’re a dipshit. It’s just sad. That’s all.

I fucking love off-season Gronk.

Of course he knows how to use a colon correctly - he’s been in prison for like 4 years.

Question: would Ted Cruz look better, or at least more human, with a full beard? He can’t possibly look any worse.

Hey Kelly, please figure out who the hell this creepy stalker in Myrtle Beach is so police can get him off the street.

Check her Twitter feed.

Basically, her stance is that all politicians are evil, so you’re better off voting for the one that is the most honest and transparent.

Please tell me you’re going to cover the fact the Azealia Banks has announced she’s voting for Trump.

Thank you for reminding me of the greatest rap of all time.

Show me a man who hasn’t had a finger in his ass and I’ll show you a goddamn liar.

This is all hilarious, until that kid realizes that Saban will never forget this, and will own him for the next four years. Doing two-a-days without water isn’t a joke.

You’re an asshole, but I laughed.

I’m a feminist, but did you actually read the court documents? Hillary Coker is seriously simplifying things.

An excerpt from the defence’s statement:

That may be the happiest G-Wagen I have ever seen.

This is the most enjoyable story I have read all week. I’m slightly jealous that you got to experience that.

Damn. Sorry that happened to you, you are brave as hell.

Well there’s a video of it, and you can clearly see it wasn’t handed to him by Panthers fans. That being said, anyone acting like a flag is some sort of untouchable, sacred possession needs to pull their head out of their ass.

I got so goddamn excited when I saw this headline.