Exclusively this.

yeah the world burns but you and everyone you love are still in it, bud

My phone FUCKING does that too! Wtf is this T9 predictive horseshit

I see it as the way he comes out with this shit. The press and promotion he makes irks me like a snake oil salesman but, also, as someone else said, “he hasn’t been wrong yet.”

Let alone the whole “they’re gonna take your guns” shit

Or the time she wore a Joey Badass T-shirt 

This moment never falls to get a laugh. It never fails to be relevant. 

but wait HamNo is tomato face? hahahahahahahaha

I have a theory that if the NFL ever said “fuck you, we’re doing our own streaming service”, they would all go under

Holy shit, Zephyr Teachout is a person?! I thought it was a pro-education organization. I really need to go back and reread the stuff from yesterday now.

Worked great for the Enron guys

real fine line between the two

Hahahaha trottin down the driveway like a showhorse 

Scroll back up and click on the link marked “more complicated” in regards to this moment

It’s for legal purposes. We can’t give them the benefit of doubt 

THEN WHY THE FUCK DO THEY *HAVE* TO BUILD A WALL????

the longer you look at this, the better it gets

That would be some shit but I’m sure it’s more to do with “hey Rudy, make this go away, I’ll fire the Elf and you can fiiiinally have the AG spot! I never wanted him to have it anyway!”

In my second apartment, which was a weird 1 bd loft, there was a very small downstairs bathroom that had the sink installed too close to the toilet so when you were pooping, you could rest your arm on the sink if you were having a particularly difficult time.

Cause it was lame when we all saw it on AHS Coven