Wow. The exploding house video went better than this did.

The problem is you didn't help me explain to children or to anyone else the cake incident. And yes I call it that because I don't care if they're gay or straight or black or white or whatever else. Two people celebrating a job offer - or anything but a wedding - with a cake smash kiss - is absurdity and I need…

I have a big problem with the commercials for the upcoming Godzilla. Maybe my finger isn't on the pulse of American audiences, but when I see Godzilla movies I certainly don't watch them for the people- I watch them for the big fuck-off lizard destroying things. Unfortunately, Hollywood thinks it's the other way…

I think Jimmy Page sharing a song with P Diddy for this movie was the biggest travesty of all.

"Own the future. Win the lottery"

In his defense, it's probably not fair to single out his homophobia. I, for one, am willing to give him credit and say that Marshall Henderson probably has very dumb thoughts about a lot of other things, too.

"Who is the worse person, me for what I said or any of the HUNDREDS who just cursed me??"

Crosby is the Spaulding Smails of the NHL.

He's been the 2nd best forward on his team all playoffs. And really, when Geno is going, he's the second best anyway.

The officiating has been disgraceful this series. I am not a Ranger fan or a Pittsburgh fan, just a hockey fan. Both teams have been chippy, it's playoff hockey, but Crosby & the Pens (especially Kunitz) have been basically using their sticks as weapons in this series. The fact that the refs haven't called anything on…

Lundqvist was probably just concerned about the guy's pH balance, given Crosby's series-long vaginal irritation.

God, that was just torture. Thankfully, no-one else had to go through that since Nick Faldo was not doing the weekend.

I've said this before, but I would totally be in favor of dropping the "Look at the awful people on Twitter" series. All it does is give mostly awful people a lot more attention than they deserve for something we already know (a lot of awful people are on Twitter).

Roy Hibbert should not respond on Instagram. It would be like bringing a knife to a gun fight in an NBA locker room.

I hope Tim Donaghy will write a post for Deadspin about whether there is a rule that dogs can't play basketball.

That doesn't change how utterly ineffective the play would be. But what else would you expect from a Mexican hockey coach?

Dogecar finishes in 20th place, which is really outstanding given his team was funded by neckbeard Redditors.

There are 9 letters in "Dani Alves." His number is 22. Villa Real had scored 2 goals at the time the banana was thrown. 22 divided by 2 is 11. 9/11. Wake up sheeple.

Bacon is by definition pork, so you don't have to call it pork bacon. Just saying to be annoying, because you don't like bacon.

@TheRealJRSmith: @ArianFoster you tryin' to get the pork?