it’s well-known that George Burns lived to 99 because he was taking care of his parents.

Any chance I can get the engine? Have an Altima ready for a swap.

You might even spin it as assisted suicide.  Maybe that helps in some states.

“This is Agent... umm... Jones of the Internal Revenue Service. On your tax returns you listed ‘wife’ as a deduction for ‘content production for Pornhub’”

It's "fazed",  not "phased".

It’s not that tough to transition, but we need an intermediate system. You start by introducing the prefixes. We use centigallons, kiloyards, decaounces, and so on, for a while. Then we sneak in the units. Bam! All done.

I almost got fired, but I’m presently in HR’s offices while they pleasure themselves after reviewing the evidence. This is freaking awkward. I’m assuming this will turn into mutually-assured silence.

Be careful with that... she might miss the point and give you 8 goats or something.  You think sexy time, you get mutton.

The Hennessey Turboni Z7 can do it in about 2 weeks.

I was able to snap a picture of the car in question, and I think you’ll agree that there’s cause for concern.

See this, Your Honor? You think you’ve slowed me down? You think this party’s over? Party’s just started. Exhibit A:

Like how the accusers of The Scottsboro Boys had the courage to show something that could have happened, even if it really didn’t. And those of George Stinney, and the Central Park Five. Like Charles Stuart, Susan Smith, Amanda Knox, and Bethanny Storro.  All shining the light of what could have happened even if it…

What is seen can’t be unseen...

Yeah... let’s see how that works out.

Q:  It is compatble with Galaxy S8 thx

My Altima has a sweet aftermarket jack and air fresheners. Your move, Rolls-Royce.

“These are real people, not actors. What brand do they think has the most improper airbag deployments and the most warranty denials. Honda? Toyota?”

That car makes my pants fit funny...

He had to be fired. There was no chance he wouldn’t. The press is at its best, and most indispensable, when it is unbiased. On the night of Nixon’s resignation, Woodward and Bernstein’s editor Ben Bradlee “ran around the newsroom and said, Don’t gloat, just play it straight.”  That’s the place and power of the press.

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