Rabid Racoon

I don't know why more people aren't terrified of raccoons. They're big, they'll eat anything, and they have HANDS. Oh, and they carry a parasite deadly to humans. Fun creatures!

OVERTON FOR PRESIDENT OF EVERYTHING

And WTF moron police officer agreed to do something so stupid!?!?

I would bet his parents right now are imagining a photo of their beautiful son in handcuffs being on the internet for a lifetime.

My thoughts exactly! If I was his parents, I'd never let her anywhere near my house again. (I'd end the damn relationship, too, if that was something that worked on teens ever.)

Also: what about the officer?

yeeeah, I can't see his parents slapping their knees with laughter over this. And did she tell the school this was happening? She would had to have told them right? An armed police officer came in & took a student away in cuffs.

1: The entire trend of increasingly outrageous "prom-posals" is dumb as fuck. Aside from the obvious, it's really awful to put someone in a position where they feel like they can't say no.

ALSO: Where are both of their parents?

Another pro-lifer GOP type who values life right up till birth.

Yes it does. Which makes all the "but it's period appropriate!" comments that much sillier.

A.k.a., "Eau de Deadspin:"

Loving all the responses referencing period costumes as if Cinderella is a historical biopic that must be set in a specific time and place.

I knew it. See, ladies! You don't have to be photoshopped to have a disproportionately sized waist! You can just wear a corset at all times and only eat soup. Sounds grand.

I'm counting on that, actually! My husband turned 50 last August and I have to remind myself of his age. He looks and acts 35. I plan to do the same. Young at heart, right? I remember being freaked out about 40. WHAT WAS I THINKING.

My beautiful and lovely great-grandmother lived to be 103. She died in 1990. Her husband died from an infected hog bite (!) when she was 40. She never remarried. She lived most of her life without him. So weird to consider! And they had five kids. She was a spunky farm woman who lived alone until she was in her 90s.…

Careful what you wish for!

She was already an adult during the 2 World Wars. That's insane.

Her husband died 84 years ago. That's insane