Silver lining—being mistaken for someone 20 years your junior!

I have a tight group of girlfriends... Unfortunately, most of them live in different cities and/or states. I also consider my fiance to be one of my best friends. As a wise little girl said once:

Writing it as we speak. I expect CW to pick this up once I’m done.

It would be perverse and ironic and hilarious if Tom Cruise’s controllingness brought his ex (and Jamie Foxx) lasting happiness! After all, how often in Hollywood do actors have five years out of the spotlight to develop a romantic relationship?

I read your comment as Ronan Farrow and Jon Lovitz. Yikes!

Finally! Foxy Holmes lives!

That disco ball is there because of me! My company works with his architect and I was tasked with sourcing and ordering that giant gold disco ball.

I hope they have six kids, I mean what else are they doing?

Kanye: “She is beyond good and evil.” Ooh, NEW KINJA SCREENNAME!

I mean, I don’t hate Amal, and I actually feel bad for the twins, and Rosemary Clooney was a great gal, a legend ... it’s just George I can’t stand, and even that is more about 1) the entire world aggressively insisting that I am supposed to find this unappealing man wildly attractive and 2) the practical jokes. I…

So... an heir, a spare, and a piece of flair?

Unpopular opinion: George Clooney is not all that handsome and seems like a complete dick with his love of practical jokes. And now this pear-shaped, potato-faced wang—who everyone inexplicably insists is the ultimate catch—is calling his son a “thug” and his daughter “elegant”? George Clooney sucks, people.

When faced with that question (rare for me but maybe once a year), I tell them my real name is Barack. Chad Taylor Michaels is my slave name.

Also missed my favorite line:

.... that’s fucked up. I mean honestly, WHO the FUCK CARES what someone calls themselves as long as you get the shit you want?

You missed the killer line:

That’d make more sense, just go full Alicia Silverstone and chew you kids’ food before you spot it in their mouths.

I feel like if you don’t vaccinate your children because you read on the internet they’re bad and scary, you gotta go full hog on all the other dumb science shit. Red dye 5 or whatever causes add and autism? It will never pass your childrens lips. Growth hormones and antibiotics in livestock makes your children hit…

No, making loved ones happy with a simple gesture is always better than abiding by what miserable idiots in comment sections declare “thirsty.”

Hope feels like a million years ago.