Nobody puts Baby on the floor.

I understand why people would feel like they couldn't talk about this. If we're being honest about feelings here, I honestly felt no sympathy for the women above. To be honest, I saved all my sympathy for their children.

"I've eaten plenty of girls' thongs in my life," Brian the Samoyed boasted to The Post. "But I've never eaten hers."

It's a bad day for Brian-related Jezebel news.

OH YEAH WELL YOU'RE PROBABLY A STUCK UP NYC SNOB IM IN FINANCE AND I GET THOUSANDS OF HOTTER TONSILS THAN YOURS EVERY WEEK GET OVER YOURSELF

I think Mayim Bialik should have a job on tv where she just complains about things. You know, like the old dudes used to do on 60 minutes? She can be all "What is the deal with Frozen? In my day, princess movies weren't all into male bashing! And what is an Ariana Grande anyway? Is it a coffee drink? And why are there…

So you can't just mock and berate people into being the people you want them to be? That must be why my self help book (Build Some Confidence, You Worthless Unlovable Piece of Shit) isn't flying off the shelves.

There's something about Katy Perry's tweet that just hit me a bit in the heart.

I have no snark. She was, as stated above, a trailblazer who was doing the job when women just didn't do it or didn't get the chance to.

I'll take them both, thanks.

how about button down shirts that are sized according to bra size and waist size? For example instead of my usual large size shirt, it would be 36D / 30.

That Fifty Shades gif in the beginning:

here's my sex spreadsheet

Tim, you didn't even need to give that much of an apology. It's great that you wanted to be considerate and express some regret, but I hope you weren't pressured to do it. You weren't out of line.

And I believe that the children are our future. Oh wait, that was Whitney. Nevermind.