Is Joe Flacco aleut?

There wasn't a dry eye in the house, except, you know, one of his.

You should see how they react to an own goal!

If only he'd killed one more person, then the city of Boston could have really used him as a rallying point.

As a final "fuck you" to the NBA, Sterling plans on dying tomorrow.

Officer: Hands on the wheel, sir. License?

Officer: Straight now, Mr. McNabb. That's right. Look at me. No, you're off to your right. Come on. It's really not that difficult. Watch me. See, eyes aimed right at you, and...perfect. Now you do it. Goddammit. I'm up here, Mr. McNabb, not down and to the right. We're not leaving until we get this right.

Poor Donovan. It's been years since he was able to complete a drive.

Should have just said "What's up, redskin?" to show he values and honors the man's history.

I assume the people responsible redshirted the car because they don't expect it to start.

I'm sorry, but I can't believe that Mendte was convicted of email hacking when he explicitly told Lane he was looking for a NSA relationship.

Wow, she went with the Detroit mullet: vacant, graffitied business on the left, overgrown disgusting piece of property on the right.

That's fine. You just keep putting up barriers. And Lolo Jones will keep knocking them down.

Travelling or not, she still drives a hell of a lot better than Laura Bush.

Do not allow these words to slip off the leathery, cynical skin you most assuredly don daily.

This is just ludicrous. I absolutely cannot believe that Geno Smith was intercepted before coming anywhere near a touchdow—

[Receives vicious blindside hit from Standards]
[Blacks out; fumbles joke]
[Spends rest of life feeling cloudy, with a sensitivity to light, GIF-related humor]

Looks like some lucky developing country is gonna be pretty psyched about this year's loser gear shipment.

Sorry Drew, but this is bullshit. Have you even tried to find a fax machine in the last three years, much less try to fucking send one?