Who knows someone who can get you this job!?!? Or you can post a new one here every week since we all enjoy yours more

Poppy seems mean...

And I looked and beheld a pale man, with skin like the belly of a slug. In his right hand he held a machete, and in his left hand he held the decapitated head of a cheetah from a game reserve in Africa. And lo, his name was Eric.

He looks like Pestilence, the 1st of the Four Horseman.

She supposedly mated with Ted Cruz. I think her dignity went out the door when his tentacles penetrated her whatever.

Agreed, it is none of our fucking business. She can adopt twice as many kids as Brangelina or she can drink wine, raise goats, and travel the world with her hot husband. Or some combination thereof. Live your best life, Jen!

If Taylor ain’t hitting that I’m shaking my head at her lol

Nobody ever went broke by underestimating the intelligence of the American people.

I’m confident saying that anyone who wants Trump as President cheered for AIDS while watching the movie “Philadelphia”.

You are afraid of success.most failures are.

I am not afraid of Trump. I am afraid of the people who see in him an answer to all their darker impulses and hatreds. They may not be numerous, but they are widespread. And they can and will shape this election in ways we cannot imagine. And Trump’s rise will come from these people. People who with arms outstretched…

Invite Trump to host a rally and than cap it off once he is inside.

Holy shit! That’s exactly who I thought of!

I mean, just get a tumblr. No one will care if you share your twat there. Im sure the outrage is what fuels them. I give them 10 minutes with out the attention before they shrivel up like a necrotic testicle.

Who has to fuck the goat?

I’m starting to think this masterpiece might have been dumb luck.

That was my absolutely TERRIBLE attempt at a Salem witch trial joke! So I haven’t actually eaten there. (Sorry for the blasphemy Puritan back room I’m sure you’re delicious!)

I don’t know. Mine was burned, and totally drowning in mayonnaise. They said they had to do that to make sure it was okay to eat, but...seemed kind of ruined at that point.

The Puritan Backroom is also the name of my Salem Witch Hunt-themed gay sex dungeon.

Panton told Jezebel in an emailed statement. “Ted and I had many mutual friends who would usually stop by to watch movies, play video games, or even engage in long, fun discussions about politics, philosophy, and life.”

Just as long as it’s on mute.