She supposedly mated with Ted Cruz. I think her dignity went out the door when his tentacles penetrated her whatever.

Agreed, it is none of our fucking business. She can adopt twice as many kids as Brangelina or she can drink wine, raise goats, and travel the world with her hot husband. Or some combination thereof. Live your best life, Jen!

If Taylor ain’t hitting that I’m shaking my head at her lol

Holy shit! That’s exactly who I thought of!

I mean, just get a tumblr. No one will care if you share your twat there. Im sure the outrage is what fuels them. I give them 10 minutes with out the attention before they shrivel up like a necrotic testicle.

Who has to fuck the goat?

I’m starting to think this masterpiece might have been dumb luck.

That was my absolutely TERRIBLE attempt at a Salem witch trial joke! So I haven’t actually eaten there. (Sorry for the blasphemy Puritan back room I’m sure you’re delicious!)

I don’t know. Mine was burned, and totally drowning in mayonnaise. They said they had to do that to make sure it was okay to eat, but...seemed kind of ruined at that point.

The Puritan Backroom is also the name of my Salem Witch Hunt-themed gay sex dungeon.

Panton told Jezebel in an emailed statement. “Ted and I had many mutual friends who would usually stop by to watch movies, play video games, or even engage in long, fun discussions about politics, philosophy, and life.”

Just as long as it’s on mute.

I teach 4th grade, and one of my kiddos asked if he could do sharing on Friday. He brought in his iPad and started to talk about his favorite singer who had recently died. He played “Let’s Dance” for the class and shared pictures that he found on the internet. It was the sweetest thing ever! Most of the class had no…

No matter how old he got, the moment he smiled, it’s like all the years melted away. Like this photo was taken a few days before his death. (By Iman, no less.) What a fantastic smile.

Based on my experience with the armed services, men who join the military with mental issues come out of service fucked up. Men who have it together generally aren’t messed up when their time is served (I’m not saying stable guys don’t get PTSD).

New reports have said that drone operators face enormous levels of stress, guilt, and trauma as a result of their jobs. People who witness their friends — and even their supposed enemies — killed or hurt in the line of battle can be and are still affected.

Also one for REALLY MAKING SURE to not rush into any wars.

Oh good, Ben Carson is still talking.

I really like hearing that celebrities are as nice as they seem, I loved the pissing contest with people’s stories about celeb encounters. It’s nice to know someone with her standing in the world gives back and is a kind, lovely person eh?

As far as tabloid rags go, Jennifer Aniston’s Uterus is the modern day UFO.