More like Fifty Shades of Bronzer

I’m 28 and I cried six times TODAY. (Shut up, I was reading a really poignant book while working an unexpected grave shift, you guys would have cried too.)

Poor hygiene, dumb, no personality.

It makes me wonder if there’s some internalized helicopter/ “special snowflake” parenting going on, too. “Someone said a thing I don’t like. I don’t know how to think outside of my tiny mindset and can’t solve my own problems! I don’t have to put up with that! I must eliminate the source of this discomfort, which is…

Oh FFS....

Live look at his election victory speech

Pretty sure its Dione Warwick who sang that

Water people, oh, just wait until you get to the poop people.

nope :)

It’s good to see so many of those in attendance smash-faced, out of respect for all the women Floyd kicked the shit out of.

To be fair, he’s no stranger to popping a bone in.

“Complimentary hat was quite prickly and uncomfortable.”

“Restaurant food was decent but I had to provide my own bread and wine. The next day I was nailed to a plank of wood and died. Would not recommend.”

True. It distracted from the sophisticated humor of the fake blowjob.

I'm sure you're right, and I have no idea what's going on inside of that big, thick skull of his.

Fuck you ESPN. Fuck you right up the ass.