More like Fifty Shades of Bronzer

I’m 28 and I cried six times TODAY. (Shut up, I was reading a really poignant book while working an unexpected grave shift, you guys would have cried too.)

Poor hygiene, dumb, no personality.

It makes me wonder if there’s some internalized helicopter/ “special snowflake” parenting going on, too. “Someone said a thing I don’t like. I don’t know how to think outside of my tiny mindset and can’t solve my own problems! I don’t have to put up with that! I must eliminate the source of this discomfort, which is…

Oh FFS....

Live look at his election victory speech

Pretty sure its Dione Warwick who sang that

Water people, oh, just wait until you get to the poop people.

If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour... you’re gonna see some serious shit.

you should see the skid marks it leaves

nope :)

It’s good to see so many of those in attendance smash-faced, out of respect for all the women Floyd kicked the shit out of.

To be fair, he’s no stranger to popping a bone in.

“Complimentary hat was quite prickly and uncomfortable.”

“Restaurant food was decent but I had to provide my own bread and wine. The next day I was nailed to a plank of wood and died. Would not recommend.”

I didn't even know there WAS a drugs.gawker until just now.

10,000 years from now, they'll think they discovered the lost city of Atlantic Avenue

the puke is what attracts the microorganisms to start the reef. The Circle of Life.

Well thats one way to wash the puke out