Having the Chargers and Raiders share a stadium and a division would have made the annual stabbings so much more convenient.

Giving a last place kid a trophy for showing up is a form of public humiliation.

The worst thing about Saints fans is that they need to check with their wives before emailing Deadspin.

Yeah, this isn’t reverse sexism it’s just regular old paternal sexism combined with bureaucratic inefficiency.

“Mine was worse.”

Sports News Website Reports Sports News; Readers Outraged

Smart move logging onto a sports website on the night of a big sporting event you’re trying not to spoil for yourself, fuckface.

Truly a banner week for news on NFL stars who destroyed digital material under suspicious circumstances.

This is the hand that abruptly ends....

Andrew Luck is going to be the richest athlete ever. His salary won’t even include all that extra cash he makes by charging people to cross the bridge he lives under.

That is why Buffalo Wild Wings and other sports bars are godsends.

“All crucial decisions made in the Atlanta area are made with the goal of avoiding traffic, and then failing to avoid that traffic.”

And that the fucking remedial chant is so easily thrown back in our face. Even my 4-year old thinks it's funny to say "J-E-S-T", and that little bastard can't even read.

Sean Peyton: [puts $1000 on the board next to Galette’s picture]

That is a powerful image. It is just staggering see all of the women together. It drives home how much of a goddamn monster he was.

Can we start a site-wide fund drive to get, like, 250* people to donate to Planned Parenthood— in Rand Paul’s (dis)honor — this week? It would be HILARIOUS, and also PP/PP Action Fund needs all the help it can get right now.

When the guy mentioned being upset because he couldn’t smoke a Newport at the game, I thought I was somehow reading the WYTS: Cleveland.

Actual conversations I’ve had:

He’s the boyfriend who the female lead leaves for the nerd.

If she made better music, I’d perhaps be more concerned with spelling her name properly. Bitch.