“Influencers" are a cancer on society. 

And if any of them murder endangered animals for shits and giggles, I’ll avoid them too.

We also have taste because France backed our rebellion and saved us from getting curb-stomped by the British. Stop acting like we’re better than everyone if you can’t remember where we came from.

But he's still making money off of Jimmy John's, is he not? Because if he is, fuck supporting that asshole. 

You know we can’t taste pictures, right?

Same here. Fuck them.

That’s a pretty sad sandwich. 

Support rich people trophy hunting: buy Jimmy John's! 

The Panda Express by me always has a line of at least 10 people when I go. I just order online and cut everyone. It's incredibly satisfying.

Throw an S up front. Or an N at the end. Or a TH. Or put an M at the beginning.

You’re being pretty generous. 

So you want them to start a Taco Bell franchise? 

There was more to the movie than just watching him eat and tell you fast food is bad. He talked to doctors, nutritionists, kids, McDonald’s super customers, and several other people to show, not just what the food does, but what the company (and, by extension, other companies) do to make their food so popular that…

That first Medal of Honor game was so much fun. I remember being so good at it that I would beat the game with nothing but headshots. It was so much fun. 

“Our plant-based patty is indistinguishable from an over-cooked bland patty.”

Yeah. 

She thinks all chemicals are bad, because she has no idea what the fuck a chemical is. She thinks all chemicals are man-made. She asked me for a glass of water once and I told her I didn’t want to give her any chemicals. She was so confused. My wife has since told me to stop messing with her.

I don’t really mind loud if everyone’s there to watch a sport. I like to go to B-Dubs on Sunday to watch football (because I live away from where my team plays, so it’s the only way I can see my team sometimes, and because where I live has a large fanbase for my team). I know it’s going to be louder than normal, but…

My MiL hates “chemicals.” Mainly because she’s completely ignorant about a lot of things. But she keeps trying to get me to eat turkey bacon over pork bacon. Her big argument is that they taste the same. I asked her how they get turkey to taste like pork and she’s completely stumped. She refuses to acknowledge that a…