It’s on his desk. We just moved his desk to the storage annex and forgot to tell him.

Republicans are so busy defending the second amendment they keep forgetting to read the first. 

Killing all those people is terrible.

Listening to Lee just destroy them to their face is the best. They have no idea he hates it. 

Who cares? They’re food. Their pain will end fast. Boil them up and eat them. 

With chests so giant they can’t look down.

If you look at some of them, they have snapped in half. 

That had me laughing pretty good in the theater. 

Toad Dick would give him a pardon and have him talk at a campaign rally.

I got a fever. And the only prescription... is more pouches.

To be fair, I wouldn't want anyone to watch two drunks stumble around for entertainment. It's just so sad. 

I love watching amateur cooks on TV get a chicken with the head still attached. “Oh, it’s long at me! Why is there a head?” Because it was alive once, Janet. Get your shit together. You sustain yourself on chicken nuggets. The fact that chickens have heads isn't some new thing. 

Plus PETA loves, just fucking LOVES, to murder dogs. 

Who cares?

It’s a win-win. Jones clearly wants to give it to him, and Trump can finally get some that no one will talk about. 

Don’t sorry, Alex. If you need some quick cash, you can get an easy $130K for blowing Toad Dick in person. 

Ignorance of the law (or, in this case, your partner's age) doesn't make you immune from the law. 

No kidding. I "watched" season 8 through Funny or Die recaps, and that was only possible because the narrator hates the show as much as me. 

If Lebron had never left Cleveland the first time, and if he had the opportunity to be the commercial success Jordan was (which he couldn't because Jordan was), he could've been the next Jordan. Moving to Miami made it impossible. 

Mainly because Jordan led the way in so much that's normal now. There's not much originality.