Best thing is he’s a Republican and didn’t vote for gawker media’s beloved Billary. You go Figjam! The Masters is YOURS buddy!

Aloha Alanis!

I just do a quick whore’s bath. Tops n tails, with extra attention to m’asshole

I’d go with an M35 military cargo truck

Prefer these stories over the “Im 30 and need a luxury car for 25K please help” comment bait

That’s the great thing about being American. We can store our personal foodstuffs in a reckless manner and there’s nuthin the Feds can do about it!

His lawyer, with the law firm of Oscar, Mayer, Frank and Beanberg, disputes the number.

It’s OK, Barry Obama has refereed to his wife as Michael, on 2 occasions and Michelle could not recall when they were married

That’s funny because the pet name for my knob is My Tesla

You’re a feminst? Oh poor snowflake, be angry!

The cold war was a psyop and nukes are a hoax! proof attached

I use Honey Boo Boo’s mom as the benchmark of how attractive a woman should be before I am interested in her

Fuck it. I just want to smash it with a hammer and burn it with fire

You literally habe to lug my nuts in front of a tv to watch nascar

“splooged” on it

Bruce Jenner is my fave lady, like evah

The other day she asked me if I want fries with that and I said, “Yes, they are free right?” and I didn’t get the damn fries

Guess urnotrite

Fairly sure you voted Hillary