@avclub-c1fe85b855c6d045b827f74a1e2c3fd7:disqus I can't count the number of times I've needed to stop in the middle of a page for a snack break, so appetized was I.

@avclub-b54d138b13c97bbd565796787ff23531:disqus That's a good point, I'd forgotten my occasional thoughts of "why do wizards have radios and indoor plumbing, but don't know electricity is a thing?" I understand it's a stylistic choice more than a logical one, but I guess that plays into your point about Kid Lit, or at…

Or she could retire on top

Libidinous Kettle and the Prisoner of HP's Shadow

I have difficulty conceiving of a person who would rather die than read a book by Rowling, yet goes to the trouble of spelling her made-up curses correctly. It's oddly respectable.

Nice parody of excessive adverbs, nigga.

SPOILERS

Fair enough. That Dickens thing is definitely too generous.

Is Catcher in the Rye really an adult novel?

Gonorrhea spoils everything.

Will it be as blithely self-satisfying?

Incontheivable!

Bigdickulus!

It's ridiculously implausible by real world standards, but the only way I remember feeling cheated by the in-world rules was the whole wand-winning thing that only came up at the 11th hour. That's not too egregious, is it?

Who are you talking about? Minerva McGonagall? Madame Maxime? Dolores Umbridge?

Honestly, I don't know what kind of fallout you're expecting. It's not in the Potterverse, so there's nothing for her to "screw up" in the minds of fans. Mild disappointment is the most drama I'd expect.

What? No it wouldn't. Rowling wrote seven good books, Meyer wrote zero good books. Rowling now writing one bad book won't change that.

Being a fan of GRRM and Neal Stephenson, I can't understand why anyone would stipulate that.

You forgot that slashers also want every other conceivable combination of characters to hook up. Including Fred and George.

No no, you're saying it wrong. It's "AnalbeadORium," not "analbeadoriUM."