Monarchist.

I lost my 23,798th favorite hair follicle today :(

Hey we're not the only ones who hate Wisconsin.

I really enjoyed F F Woodycook's reply to that comment made by Im gonna tear your clit out wi.

We have a coffee flavor called "Daybreak" here and I keep drinking it and humming the song of the same name in my head.

NO CRUISING!

Happy birthday, C ~ A ~ T !!!!!!!!

Mr. Malcontent, I don't use the word "hero" lightly, but you are the Greatest Hero in American History.

Is everyone going to be huddled around the village television set, squinting through the fuzz and swearing they can just make him out?

Do you know him personally?

I decided to leave early and it turned out the shift I thought I was covering at my other job was already covered so I actually had a short day lol

*Prayer hands emoji (which is actually supposed to be two hands high-fiving, but no they're totally praying. Death of the author and all that)*

How the hell is it still morning (in the US Central time zone)? This is gonna be the longest day.

There's way, way too much to think and feel and say about Ferguson tonight, and I've been staying a silent observer on Twitter. But this O'Neal tweet is some world class laughing-to-keep-from-crying shit:

Happy late Birdday! I guess I'm not around this place at all on the weekends. Good for me!

He am Groot.

I liked that movie, but I think I prefer the Elton John album Don't Shoot Me I'm Only the Piano Player.

Wait, really?

Chocolate chip

Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate