Probably not a call girl. Gordon's explanation to Albert — that she's in town visiting family — strikes me as far more likely than finding a high-class French hooker in Buckhorn, South Dakota.

I'm still not sold on the Audrey scene as a whole. It's probably my least-favorite scene of The Return so far. But the more I think about it, the more I appreciate what Lynch has done with the Audrey as a character. I kind of hated her at first, but it's slowly dawning on me that we're probably supposed to. Her…

It's no secret at this point that Lynch is deliberately trolling us over the show's slow pace. That's not a bad thing. I actually kind of love it. But sometimes it works better than others. This episode contained two pace-trolling scenes. The first was Gordon and his French lady friend, which totally worked. That…

He got offed in The Last Stand. But that was a terrible movie, so I'm not sure if it counts.

It's not for everybody. We already know that. If it's not for you, that's fine. Go watch something else that you like better. But do it quietly, because those of us who like Twin Peaks don't give a shit that you don't.

I don't know, but I'm suddenly fascinated by the possibility that Philip Gerard is still operating in the real world, independently of Mike. That possibility didn't occur to me until now.

I read it as Dougie's boss being intimidated by the Mitchum brothers. He's not in on their insurance fraud scheme, he's just letting them get away with it because he's afraid of them, in stark contrast to the "Battlin' Bud" persona he likes to project.

I think the problem with it is that it felt like Hollywood swashbuckling. I mean, I have no idea what real medieval battles looked like. I've never studied the subject academically. But I've always felt like GoT's battles at least feel believable, even if they're not necessarily "realistic" in the strictest sense of…

I noticed that too. The Buckhorn detective also had terrible trigger discipline. Not a mistake ANY law enforcement professional is likely to make, but particularly ridiculous for an elite senior FBI agent.

The whole naval battle scene was disappointing. The direction was sub-par, the music was overly dramatic, and it was all just a little too over-the-top. From the ridiculous moment when someone got squished by Euron's boarding plank, I was pretty sure we were in for a disappointing action setpiece. And I was right.

The specific damage to Hastings' skull looked pretty similar to what happened to the glass box kids (hollowed out with the top half missing). Seems unlikely to be a coincidence, although the MO is a bit different (the woodsmen employ crushing, while the Experiment seemed to use slashing/clawing).

Kyle MacLachlan's acting-via-facial-expressions is impressive. 99 percent of the time, he looks confused and disoriented, but every once in a while — always at perfectly-timed moments when he notices reminders of the past — he looks focused and lucid. I almost thought the piano was going to finally bring Cooper out of…

No mention of how Hawk and his ancient magical Google map finally explained the symbolism of creamed corn (fertility, but corrupted and unnatural)? I'm disappointed.

Yes. Also, raping coma patients is something hospital staff would tend to notice and put a stop to. Even if they couldn't stop him (this is Evil Cooper, after all — only Ray can stop him), they'd at least make note of it. Unless he eliminated the witnesses, but then someone would know about people mysteriously dying…

Maybe she's helping him BECAUSE she's terrified of him. As another pop culture embodiment of evil once said, "Fear can be a powerful motivator."

Okay, I watched the scene again, and he does indeed say "Now I know how Brando felt. Calling him tomorrow, this Douglas Jones, to set up a meeting."

I'm pretty sure there was. I'm going to have to watch again tonight to be sure. But I'm pretty sure that when the Mitchum brothers are talking about what to do about Dougie, one of them says something like, "We need to call that Brando guy, and have him arrange a personal meeting."

Tyrion was my first thought as well. My second was Gendry.

The opening scene was epic. Arya is now powerful enough to wipe out entire noble houses in one fell swoop. That's badass.

That's what I'm afraid of: Wally's a contract killer. The kind of contract killer who gets called in for special/important jobs. There's no way this ends well.