hot take:

“Welcome to The Internet, the show where everything’s made up and the points truth doesn’t matter!”

oops dupe post sorry

ayyy dios mio

my college boyfriend was hazed and had to live in a tent in the common room for 2 weeks and had to climb around the room on the couches and chairs because “the floor was hot lava”

don’t do it emily

pretty sure my mom has used every single one of these as subject lines

could’ve sworn this one was jeb!.

well, 20 dead schoolchildren sure wasn’t enough. maybe a few more?

nvm

I haven’t watched since this season’s premiere but

so I’m not normally a football gal but I recently realized it’s an awesome thing to put on the tv on sunday afternoons while I lie on the couch and get high and eat takeout

maybe the patriots will bring terrible towels for everyone

the redskins would like to know how they can join in the fun too

Laila, “a little girl from Louisiana who had been in foster care.”

What’s he polling at, 1% or something? Maybe his next move is to give fetuses the right to vote. Interesting strategy!

oooh that sounds awesome!

literally every time I get a haircut I think it’s horrendous until I get that cape off and go into better lighting. it’s like my makeup disappears. I don’t think I’ve ever liked a cut or color while still in the studio.