Ross Douthat is out here continually batting frenzied polyamorists away from his dick

I just realized this guy who looks like my dad is actually younger than me.

He is one of those guys who you know insists he is “totally not angry, just finds it interesting.” at least a dozen times a day.

The fuck are we all doing commenting HERE when we could be providing Ross Douthat the data he’s looking for via Twitter DM?

Yeah its so boring which is why I remember exactly how she looked, what she said, what she was wearing, how she tasted, how she felt... but I was terribly bored the entire time. It’s definitely not the only time I almost had sex.

Also I went to Harvard and she was totally impressed with that. I didn’t bring it up, she…

So, we’re all in agreement that:

Love to write shitty Penthouse Forum letters about my sex life that also mention superfluously that I went to Harvard.

and Witherfork, Witherstraw and maybe even Witherhands.

Ross Douthat is creepy as fuck.  

He may have misunderstood what people were talking about when they said they were dealing with 30-50 feral hogs.

And I would do ANY THING FOR LOVE...oh I would do anything for love...but I won’t douthat....no I won’t douthat 

Polys want that cracker

I think a “chunkier Reese Witherspoon” is called a Reese’s Witherspoon.

Real talk, Ben is actually very tall, falling somewhere between actual NBA players Manute Bol and Muggsy Bogues.

If you liked her pregnancy announcement then you’ll love the gender reveal! 

I really hope he was on PEDs and not weed. To lose 2 years of International play (the only chance he’ll probably get to play against NBA players that’s not in an open gym) over some weed would be foolish. Hopefully he’s out there on roids and HGH to make it “worth it.”

Our culture really has it out for women. Getting suspended for being pregnant is absolutely vile and out of touch.

Boy, I read that headline and thought this was going in a totally different direction.

In a twist worthy of an M. Night Shyamalan movie, the father turns out to be the lab technician who processed the urine...

I was legit wondering if he was actually a female-to-male trans-person or something and just passing really well, and then was pregnant. I was waiting for some really sideways news here.