Things I will always remember about Peanut:

sounds like less blood than the ensuing aftermath of grabbing the wrong towel, though

Always masturbation truthers

+1 Putting the dick in pendantic

Bruh:

That’s third baseman Jake Lamb, who is obviously concerned for a fellow Jake.

I’m glad the medics are getting practice to prepare for the flood of Cubs fans that will jump off ledges in October.

As a Yankees fan who also had a special place in her cold, dead heart for Reyes & Wright when they were young and could’ve, maybe, do you think???? (you know, before the Mets destroyed them), I do have to say to the Daily News, screw you. (ohhhh feel the heat from my hot taek yall)

Oh, I’m not like Larry From Islip…

“It’s real to me”

He didn’t care enough to watch the NHL awards? I guess he is a real hockey fan.

tfw they’re pulling on three

hard to write when ur friend is stuck in the barney

Well, suddenly, I take these two gentlemen less seriously as sports intellectuals.

God damnit, Ayesha...

Fuuuuuuuuuck yoooooooooouuuuuuuuuuu man

To be fair, while his running story is utter and complete bullshit, to drive an RV cross country at only 9mph is an impressive feat in itself.

I’m not volunteering to actually run but I may be able to drive very slowly while high behind an RV for a nominal fee.

The man is throwing children over 16 foot fences into yards and garages? He’s throwing children AT children in sandboxes?

When I was 11 I was at a week long hockey camp at the University of Maine. My best friend and I realized a couple days in that - cut off from TV (this was 1994) and playing hockey 10 hours a day - no one had any idea of what was going on in the world.

Nothing “works” to keep someone sober. You work to be sober. There are tools that help. You know what doesn’t “work”? Not trying.