Fucking heartland.  Please tell me that religious horseshit is on an optional plate.

Roll on Sunday, roll on Monday.

They tried that with the Explorer.

My office mates have been looking at me like I’m insane for the last 10 years while I’ve been eating instant ramen before 8am.

Mmm salty.

Username checks out.

“would be forever snagging that shit on everything.”

It’s like ridiculous nails and pale skin, they’re meant to imply that you don’t have to work for a living.

“Or health care costs?”
$75 bucks? Don’t give me that, she could have declined the cotton ball they used to sterilize the injection site for the $1200 anti inflammatory jab they used to set her child’s broken arm.

/s

edit: also; ffs. I can’t count the number of hours I’ve wasted on this site every day over the last 12…

“next to no chance” Sorry, dude, this is just not true.

Let’s make a deal.

If you refrain from using the term cat and die from eating ground glass in the same sentence.

I, in turn, will refrain from laughing when your useless crotch fruit are struck by automobiles.

Tbh, how cars have been engineered so that the wheels stay on, year after year, decade after decade, in any number of states of disrepair, is pretty impressive.

*an actual thought I’ve had on a number of occasions.

Back when I wore shirts rather than shorts to work, I had a serious lust for a pair of these. I think the conversion worked out to a little more than half of that.

Going all the way back to elementary school, dudes who stand like that are nearly always contractor grade tool-bags.

(full disclosure: I enjoy an active lifestyle, am an occasional gym rat, and I have a penchant for outdoor activities) 

Parking the car on the lawn is gauche, agree. But is it acceptable to wash the car on the lawn in order to “recycle” the water?  (I don’t water the lawn, not the front one anyway)

If I didn’t hate country music with such a blinding passion, I’d buy this guy’s album because country rap irritates the very people responsible for my antipathy toward it.

The weapon gun cuddlers most often give to their women to pose with.

Oh, yes, that legitimate rape, they keep talking about.

I was almost sympathizing with her character right up until the “terrorists” comment.

You’re 10,000 miles from the border of your country, attacking people in the village they were as likely as not to have been born in.

Those correct term for the people you’re killing isn’t “terrorist”

That disgusting t-shirt just sealed…

It’s because of who you share the road with.

My car gets 40 rods to the hogshead and that’s the way I like it!

Like the Brown rwd, long roof turbo diesel manual wagon, be careful when you’re talking about enthusiasts because not only do we do not make up most of America.

I doubt most of America even knows the displacement of their automobiles.

I think the proxy first lady, Crooklyn Barbie is going to be the next president.