Bill Burr nails this one.

I was at that Ichiro game. I can’t remember if it was his very first MLB game or just his first visit to Oakland (pretty sure it was one of the two) but my god what an introduction. There was already a lot of hype around him since he was so celebrated in Japan. But no one knew for sure if it would translate to…

Wait...you’re making me side with a car dealer?

This sucks. King Felix was so cool and it’s tough seeing him be so butt. And I’m not even a Mariners fan. 

the most wins and strikeouts in franchise history, the most wins by a Venezuelan-born pitcher, six All-Star Games, a Cy Young award, a perfect game in 2012. 

Some, but this guy seems OK.

Those cows lead a great life, with one bad day. 

I’ll hand you the....Duesenberg? (never was big on pre-war stuff). The Jeep just looks like you cut up a $40 tent and duct taped it on a rollcage.

His name is epic failure, what did you expect? 

90/10? Sorry but GTFOH with that. 

I don’t think dogs can keep up with new technology. They seemed ok with older corded handsets.

The mama duck however cannot order anything from the drive-thru due to Taco Bell’s policy of not accepting any large bills.

Why is anyone even giving the dealer their keys? I park in customer parking and keep my keys with me. If they told me they might need to move my car from the customer parking area, I’d tell them to stuff it, and if they insisted I’d just leave.

If a dealer wanted my keys before taking a test drive, I would turn around and walk out immediately.  That is my vehicle.  Not yours.

Wait...why did the dealership have your old trucks keys?  I’ve never given my car keys over to a dealership while doing a new car test drive....

Ha! You know what doesn’t go on a hot dog? Celery salt, pickles, cucumbers, tomatoes, relish (this one is slightly controversial). But ketchup is where the line is drawn?

“Seriously though, it’s hard to conceive of any legit reason for Walt or Jesse to appear on BCS.”