I’m certain Doc has used the term “grasses it” at some point in his career, probably referring to a flubbed pass.

It’s enhanced video. The whole room is actually filled with smoke, but the majority of it is from on-track carnage.

Are you Pinkham’s Lawyering a BCO from two weeks ago in an entirely unrelated post?

Drunk you makes awesome decisions.

I ordered a custom trophy for my little brother that said “World’s Gayest Baby” on it. He was 15 years old.

Motorola Lewinski has a nice ring to it. Too bad they’re not involved.

Pictured: the race official controlling the incident reporting on the bottom left screen for the last Ferrari Challenge race.

I think the important thing to note here is how many Jalopnik readers seem to be perfectly fine with a little annual bestiality action. Squatches ain’t the same species, man.

Yeah, we need to know who chooses the gender and sexual orientation of the Sasquatch before making any hasty decisions here. We don’t want to end up in a loveless union with an uninterested cryptid due to incompatible attractions. Unless it changes year-to-year.

“Hello, ESPN? Yeah, I have a trustworthy source who states that Tom Brady fucks rats.”

Here’s a follow-up blanket statement:

Fucking people don’t realize or care that they’re interrupting you. An alternative is to just talk right over them with the same “my words are more important than yours” attitude. Unfortunately, a lot of them just won’t care. Stop talking to those people. They’re assholes.

Sounds like the stereo is having a tough time keeping up with “Chariots of Fire”.

But it’s at least as believable as anything else that there really is a Marlins fan.

Just remember to use her pillowcase, because you don’t want all that nasty dust inside your own.

“That particular vehicle is en route to the dealership on a truck right now.”

It’s a Patriot with steelies and what appears to be a homemade roof rack. That seller is doing you a service. Showing the whole vehicle would likely cause flu-like symptoms.

I was raised such that dusting goes hand-in-hand with “polishing the furniture”, and my wife is vehement about it as well. We both grew up with Pledge, and she continues to use it once a month or so to slather on a coat of shine on our wood furniture regardless of finish. Now our once-distressed coffee table is shiny…

Didn’t you read it? His taste in wine is incredibly clear: as cheap as possible, has a simple label, and a relaxing name. If Three Buck Chuck (may his brother, Two, RIP in peace) had a better name, you know for sure it’d be at the top of his list.

“Ryan Braun? That’s cute.”