So, I can use this in court if after a drink or ten I accidentally eat a puppy? Right?

He had a lot of free time with the Romans doing the actual governing and stuff.

Now that football season is over and NBA playoffs haven't started, I don't really know what's on commercial. Wait, there were those weeks I saw X-Files. Damn there were a lot of commercials. None with Kathy Lee though.

There sure seems like a lot more blond people now in the Holy Land back then.

It's like the Cameron Left Behind movie, where they were terrified God might seem "mean". So All kids are "saved", even though that's nonsense, no one is bigoted at all, airports aren't piled with crashed planes, there's no real damage beyond messed-up lawns. Old-time religion people had attitude; now they're just…

I have to assume that giving Jesus an actual personality, opinions, preferences and/or anything humanizing would be completely off the table. Imagine of teenage Jesus said he didn't like apples or expressed a fondness for redheads and thought his early bedtime was a load of crap? Egads!

Please, please don't be a heartwarming story about a kooky non-working rich debutante who just had a dream, the means to buy it and her quest for love. Instead, a dark piece about a severely deluded person who bought her way to stages while pushing qualified people out and made a mockery of what she claimed to adore.…

When we were growing up, a wingding was a special cheap meal you got at KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken in those days) with chicken wings (in their pre-Buffalo ghetto days) and a side and drink. You could also get legdings.

Batman had to retire the Bat-Dong after that unfortunate time he got curious and decided to check on why Robin was making so much noise.

But no 64 Impala?

I'm pretty sure grandpa liked the ones he could touch. And whiskey, but that goes without saying.

Is there such a thing as too-much PG-rated cheesecake? I'm getting old enough to think "yeah", that past a certain point either whip those puppies out or just dress like an actual adult woman.

"Dude, I'm freezing. Get on with it already."
"But I don't know that I can, Dwayne. I mean look at this thing."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"The head, the stick, the way the little white spot is so perfectly set. We can't use this."
"It's the last one and my balls are freezing off. Just strike it and light the…

Sandra Oh, however, is debating what to have for lunch, thousands of miles away.

Sometimes the great Rocky Mountain range does a good job at keeping things out.

Of course they are. That's where baby idiots come from.

Ever try to get a raccoon to act after he's discovered the craft services table? Just give up; he's going nowhere.

Sounds like if you're a guy who likes bright-colored, tight body suits and being patted on the head/shoulder, Hollywood has some pretty sweet job opportunities. Probably some other places too, but this time, also Hollywood!

Nah, a proper rom-com wholeheartedly embraces tropes, with maybe a tacked-on wink-wink to pretend like the film is self-aware.

Isn't there one every night now?