My first thought was “WTF were they thinking?!”

Is it the same as “How do you get two bagpipers in tune?”

***looks it up***

How horny?: Pretty horny

The canon term for Max Rebo’s musical genre is “jizz”. Seriously. Look it up.

What. The. Hell. First off, Finn is 1000% horny on main in The Force Awakens. And Rey and Kylo Ren are a hair’s breadth away from straight up psychically fucking for most of The Last Jedi. Those movies are hella horny.

First and Business don’t have middle seats, which Premium Economy is typically priced closer to.

Uh, I was drunk. That’s it.

I’m sure publishers are champing at the bit

You must not live in the South.

You must not live in the South.

Moral of that story: don’t get married.

Tomorrow on Kinja deals:

Tomorrow on Kinja deals:

“When he opens his mouth it’s a vacuous hole: There’s little room for a brain or anything else.”

This is really the only acceptable response.

I’ll add this tip, check your life insurance policy. My policy includes a will writing service. There is a list of local attorneys that will prepare my will free of charge. I’m not sure how common this benefit is. 

Your will should be pretty simple.

High in carbs, fat and salt.

Damn you, Shep. I have more tools than a guy now. ;)

Damn you, Shep. I have more tools than a guy now. ;)

Vector graphics were indeed the shit back then.

@Platypus Man: I agree, but I am most impressed by the 1985 vector graphics! Man, vector graphics must have been the SHIT back then (I was too young to know). I mean compared to two years earlier on the 2600, it's night and day.