If the referee had been armed this never would’ve happened.

It’s amusing the lengths you go to avoid using one word, simply because some joyless schmucks have deemed it politically incorrect.

It’s like you’ve never met a 20 year old guy before.

It's more like rooting for syphillis.

My father took me to an Eagles game in 1977. The Eagles lost. I was 8. He got drunk and drove home to Elizabethtown with me asleep in the back of the, you know it, International Travelall. He got popped in Maytown, PA (stopped in to grab a beer with a buddy; I continued to sleep) by the cops for a DUI. They saw me…

Player: Hello Coach Chip, how are you today?

Who leaked footage of Lovie’s offensive game plan?

When asked what being married to Kelly was like, she held up a placard with pictures of an eyeball, a hamburger, and Sam the Bald Eagle from the Muppet Show. She refused to elaborate.

“Why do you want to return to days when only those in Midtown & Lower Manhattan could get a ride?”-Kate Upton

“Ah, the homeless period.”

but to paraphrase an old saying, never attribute to corruption that which can be adequately explained by ineptitude.

All of you are going to make a comment about Theismann breaking his leg, but unlike you, I’m going to take the high road and say that Theismann is a fucking idiot.

Clearly, the approximate 8,000 daily calories consumed by a Tour de France rider are spread out

Reports out of Alouettes training camp say that Michael Sam was having a hard time adjusting to his role in the 12-man CFL defensive scheme, where teams generally employ a fifth defensive back.

LeSean McCoy is in al Qaeda.

Srsly. See this face? This is my serious face. Demonic possession by a sex demon sounds hella fun.

Ah, but have you ever had cocaine... on weed?

Just assume they called Dellavedova for going at Harford’s legs. When you throw an elbow at a guy's head you are still getting tossed. Doesn't matter what precipitated it.

it's a standard strategy, u gotta have a backup for your starter during his bye week or else pick up josh mccown