So there's a timeline where Anne Bancroft is President? Can I go to there?

Yeah. We're divorced now but my ex is still one of my most favorite people I've ever known.

Exactly. When our daughter was 10 she became obsessed with this hideous daybed she saw in some newspaper ad. She pestered us for weeks about it until we told her in no uncertain terms that it was not going to happen. She asked "why not?"

Papa John would totally do that if the shark was wearing a Manning jersey.

"The Martin Shkreli of pizza magnates" is a perfect description.

Sometimes the outsides match the insides.

He's a vicious piece of shit and I hope he dies penniless and alone.

She looks like a substitute teacher who hates kids.

I know what it is. I am not a Sports Guy® but I drink in bars with not-at-all-alarming frequency.

Papa John is fucking gross.

Upvote for Cholula.

"Noooooooooo zinc!"

If I pick up a cent off the ground and it's post-1982 I throw it back down.

It's cool. I have friends that are wrong about all kinds of shit.

Same. All artificial sweeteners and HFCS have an unpleasant aftertaste to me. I don't drink much soda, but when I do it has to be cane sugar.

I really need to fire my agent.

The only way I could be less interested is if watching it required a urethral swab.

Shut up, Terry.

Out of what?

Now all I can imagine is Pennywise looking into a cardboard box and muttering, "… the fuck is this."