Agreed. But as others noted, there is a societal pressure to reach milestones like marriage and procreating. For those of us who don’t, we’re made to feel like we failed at adulting, that there’s something wrong with us because we e failed to find a partner. There is still a societal stigma to being single and…

This really speaks to me. All of it. But for me it’s been six years without sex or even a kiss. (same amount of time single) The life celebration? YUP! I’ve thought about that a lot. That there will never be an event which all my friends will make 100% certain to attend for me. I’ve tried dating websites and found it…

I do the same with my cat.

I’ve met this guy before, he makes all the staff at his townhouse wear uniforms specifically designed for his townhouse

So, let’s see how desecrating a Terrible Towel worked out this time...

Be careful mentioning skirt steaks to him, though, he might grab it by the rib eye.

He prefers to skirt the issue. A real round about way to chuck an idea into the brisket.

since he cant sell burgers at his restaurant and can’t sell his steaks at sharper image, he has to take his beef to twitter.

Yeah, I’m trying to put this one together. Like, wouldn’t that be eggplant parm?

Not sure if I’ve ever said anyone’s name in bed? Or if anyone has ever said mine? I mean, to whom else would you be speaking? Is it really necessary to clarify?

vegan chicken parmigiana

I’m just gonna say it, I don’t think I’ve ever said the other person’s name in bed.

Our Dad, Mom, and Uncle (Obama, Clinton, and Biden, respectively) should be so fucking disappointed with us kids right now. We didn’t want to listen, we knew better that running off with that high school dropout meth addict Trump wouldn’t be so bad; we could turn him around and make him a decent man. Surely if he saw…

How else are we supposed to know when the games are going to start? You act like there is some official person who can just walk to the center of the playing surface, blow a whistle and signal the start of play. Boy, are you dumb.

Took me only three seconds to think of what they might say.

Madeleine - Nicole & Keith have two daughters not one. I know most people only remember Sunday Roast but they have Faith Margaret as well.

It’s been just two years since the Jets’ most recent housecleaning, when Rex Ryan’s and John Idzik’s John Idzik’s and Rex Ryan’s forced Laurel and Hardy routine went crashing into the bandstand.

True story: I saw a guy in a Tim Biakabatuka Panthers jersey earlier this year.