I think Obama is hitting on a lot of key points in this speech about the importance of participating in democracy.

Whenever there is a horrific story like this I’m remember needs of all those little saying people say to comfort others.

I read it as her not really being heard. I won’t speak for her, but being in a similar situation, I know that the habit of being hopeful to the person who has expressed their sadness tends to ignore the reality of someone’s feelings and situation. It starts to feel like you are being invalidated or erased.

That’s all missing the point of the article. Aimee didn’t chose it. Neither did I. The problem isn’t with “different choices” - the problem is with society acknowledging that sometimes it is not a choice. That people need to stop the “it will happen” talk and just give us space to talk about how we feel with something…

But acceptance doesn’t equal happiness. You can accept a truth you wish weren’t true and be healthy and relatively content while still wishing for a different outcome.

And it really is the luck of the draw! People don’t like admitting it.

It is possible to be both content single and wish to have a partner. And it would be a lot easier to do that if people didn’t get all in their feelings about other people’s singleness.

Shit happens to everyone that doesn’t make us happy and that we don’t want to deal with. And yes, its nice when friends try to make it better by giving a person hope it will soon end. But for some people, it won’t. Continuing to tell them that they just have to be patient and try harder is exasperating and…

Well, the author does go a little back on forth on how much of a choice being alone is for her. I take more of an issue with why can’t one person just agree with another that “sometimes life doesn’t work out the way you thought it would, but it sure sounds like you’re making the best of what you do have” instead of…

And now you’re being just as dismissive of her as her friends and family. Just because she’s being negative and resigned to her date doesn’t mean she’s wrong. Their hope is without context, platitudes, ignoring reality, and when faced with such a lonely future other people’s platitudes start to wear really thin.

I have always hated that! As if they’re the first one to have ever mentioned online dating to you.

It sounds to me like she does want to talk about it, but wants the people she’s talking with to acknowledge her reality and have the conversation she’s actually trying to have, rather than insisting that she’s wrong and she won’t be alone forever, even though, as she points out, there is no guarantee of that.

I think there’s a fine line between trying to help and just being condescending, though. I agree that Aimee sounds sad about the state of her romantic life, but telling her “oh dont worry, he’ll come along when you least expect it” is kinda setting her up for disappointment. I don’t know if she’s seen a therapist, but…

I can’t imagine a worse reason to maintain a relationship – or bring children into the world – than my perceived financial self-interest.

And yet those same fates happen just as often to people who are married and have children. I think it would be a lot worse to be sitting there alone in the nursing home knowing your immediate family doesn’t care about you.

Or even if people want it, the fact is, not everybody gets it. Not everybody meets the right person at the right time to have the right relationship and then kids.

It’s just that society makes those of us who are alone (whether by choice or out of necessity) feel like losers/weirdos - especially during the holidays. Sigh.

Or she’d rather be able to talk about it openly without being made to feel that her feelings are wrong. There’s nothing worse than trying to be honest with someone and they dismiss your feelings because they don’t line up with what they think you should feel. I really think she’s looking for understanding and…

“[C]onditions that I would expect to find in a developing country, not...in the USA”