I don't have anything to offer you, but if you could start referring to them as the Patriots* it would be the kind of thing that is funny long after the person who started doing it is dead. So simple, so elegant.

Could we just outlaw anyone calling themselves the Patriots, America's Team, basically anything that attempts to cloak a bunch of football players in the flag? No other punishment, they just have to come up with an actual name.

They only got caught once. C'mon, don't pretend the Patriots* aren't terrible.

For a followup, make sure to rage about how Wilson is Tebow mk 2. (He kinda is, he's just athletically gifted and somehow less obnoxious (probably because he's playing for a real team that keeps the religiosity on lockdown.).)

You know at some point in the next two weeks Brady is going to make a statement about this. It's going to be magical.

Bugles are sad joke of a snack. Bugle pie isn't a thing, I rest my case.

Nah dude, those little rye bits? Those are what makes it.

Have you had kettle chips? There is no way you could vote for anything else if you had, so get to a grocery store and get some of the black pepper ones.

Goldfish are bland. Nostalgia is holding your taste buds hostage here.

Look man, if it was good enough for McCarthy and Marx it's good enough for me.

Dude got out of the car, which could have gotten him shot. This wasn't a good reaction on the cop's part at all though.

Maybe if the league punishes Belichick hard enough (banned from coaching for life but let him argue it down to a year long suspension) the other coaches would think twice.

Nah, this guys got some legs on him.

Yeah that's fair. I might be jaded towards jokes like that, I argue politics a lot.

Name out of a hat would be amazing. Seahawks versus the Dolphins would be thematically appropriate. They could flood the stadium at half time, turn it into a bog.

Does not being good at it justify cheating? I mean that seems to be what it comes down to.

Deflatriots is good. I'm going with Patriots*. I feel like it covers the situation pretty well going forward.

Benghazi has been investigated exhaustively by how many House committees? There's no there there.

Does cheating matter? Either football is a microcosm of America (it is, the Super Bowl is for better or worse (so fucking worse) one of our few cultural institutions) and cheating shouldn't be accepted because it's a corrosive to societal mores and just a degenerative action in general or you're a terrible person. One…

If the Patriots win the Super Bowl surely that will generate takes hot enough to make summer in winter.