This is my favorite jezebel thing ever. EVER.

ha!! well i'm quite vain myself.

That makes me sad! I find Persian ladies (and okay menfolk too) so gorgeous!

Yep. I'm Persian, 23, and have a nose job. The same year that I got mine done, 3 of my friends did as well. LOL, so ridiculous. I like to poke fun at how obsessed we are about it. In my defense, I simply got my bump removed, even though everyone and their grandma (I'm being serious here—my cousin's paternal grandma…

I'm Leslie and I write for this here website.

As a representative of the "American Heartland" woman, in my forties, I hate to break it to M. Hucks, but we've been smoking, swearing, fucking, and drinking in the flyover states for quite a while now. Wearing pants, voting, showing our ankles, the whole shebang. It's like we think we're people or something.

she has her billion dollar company to fall back on

She can't act, so it's good she has that to fall back on.

If the technology race goes anything like the fashion race I think we'll be okay.

Correction: Chris Kyle gave his life at a shooting range. But, you know, don't let that stop your Twitter rage.

Santorum spoke at the event. The same Santorum whose wife had a non-abortion abortion at 20 weeks because of complications. IOKIYAR.

In a right-thinking world, David Bowie is EVERYONE'S David Bowie because...David Bowie.

So glad there wasn't video in that story...

I think you have to stop looking at it from that perspective, and define justice more broadly than just "making someone pay". Especially when it comes to crimes that were committed in the past. Justice comes from bringing these stories to light, uncovering the truth and giving the dead names.

"We shall come over."

Over 3000 native kids in Canada never came home from residential schools. Most of them had loving parents who never found out what happened to their kids.

Man. Stories like this are why it always gets me when people say things like, "Society is going downhill! People are so TERRIBLE to each other nowadays! What happened to the good old days?" There were no "good old days." Not ever. People have always just been awful, and it was easier to hide it.

I would like anti-gay groups to recuse themselves from the world in general. Do I get a say?

Thank Jesus, the Holy Spirit, Zarathrustra, alcoholism, Rohyphol, whoever, because I know I've had sex with at least a couple of sketched out motherfuckers I wouldn't spit on if they were on fire, but I do not remember them. As in DO. NOT. REMEMBER.

I don't mean to play online shopping tragedy olympics or anything, but I ordered these boots OVER a week ago: