I was once in a cave tour The tour guide was telling us the differences between stalactites and stalagmites...there were walking path lights cemented into the wall, I asked the guide when asked for questions if those were “stalaglights”, he was the only one not amused probably jealous he didn’t think of it himself.

Mine just has the number “710"...I have no idea why! :)

“And the Lord sayeth unto him; Judge not lest ye be judged. Unless that bitch is poor in which case fuck her she probably deserves it. Let us not forget the parable of the slut and the government… For it is the government’s primary duty to punish those who we deem as irresponsible with their vagina’s and life choices.…

Can I go on record saying that I find the Hobby Lobby-style Christians with “a keen interest in the biblical Middle East” creepy? Stop holding seders, put down the shofar and back away (feel free to take the gefilte fish with you though, that shit is nasty). 

But then you’re going to have chocolate coming out of your whatever

I work at an alcohol alternative bar and so my manager is always coming up with whacky new ideas to get tossed (electric flowers, vegan kratom candy, etc.). Couple months ago my job duties entailed snorting some sample chocolate blow and reporting. I report: I tasted chocolate in my soul for hours. Snorting chocolate…

This:

I saw recipes for cocoa powder eye shadow on natural beauty blogs. People are just plain cra...fearless, let’s go with fearless.

As a hiring manager, I would have a lot of trouble with a resume that listed these “SAHP” skills listed alongside other professional experience - I would MUCH prefer the “pregnancy pause” to that.

So you’re saying putting chocolate in your pooper turns your blood into Hershey’s syrup? Well file my fangs and call me Count Chocula.

Reason No. 4 to never shop at Hobby Lobby: Every Hobby Lobby cashier has a 6" binder filled with bar codes for every conceivable “discount” and coupon Hobby Lobby has ever put out, and yet there is a 75% chance that the shopper at the front of whatever line you’re in has a coupon for 10% off of a single dried flower;…

Ever since the Burwell v. Hobby Lobby case, I have boycotted Hobby Lobby. To be fair, they weren’t nearby until exactly at that time, so I’d already been shopping elsewhere. But despite people oooing and ahhhing over their stock of supplies, I REFUSE to shop there for this reason. They’re the precursor to the Mike…

there are black people serving life sentences in grueling conditions for possessing tiny bags of crack and these fuckers get to deny their employees birth control, steal ancient priceless shit, and get off with a fine and a slap on the fucking wrist.

I thought I read something in that Bible they like so much about not stealing. I don’t think I recall anything about not paying for employees’ birth control in that same book. If we’re going to make the argument that Hobby Lobby counts as a person with closely held religious beliefs, they should probably follow those…

Oh, my god, I was in line at Chipotle the other week, and the staff exercised considerable patience in not murdering the woman in front of me.

It’s not about what is and isn’t work, it’s about what is and isn’t employment. A person running a daycare— even one out of their home— deals with clients, employees, licenses and permits, payroll, marketing, hiring and firing, health department inspections, etc.  Being a parent doesn’t equate to running a daycare…

Tomatoes are solanaceous plants, in the same family as tobacco, potatoes, peppers, mandrake, nightshade and so on. Aside from the well-known toxicity of plants like tobacco and nightshade many of the solanaceous food crops such as potatoes and tomatoes contain smaller amounts of milder toxins such as solanin (the “bad…

I was shocked to learn that. And you have to eat A LOT of tomatoes. My mother says that on top of the six or so fresh ones I’d have daily, I also drinking tomato juice and eating tomato sauce.

This is pretty much how it’s done. If I use less than a whole tomato for something, I immediately find a use for the remainder, or sprinkle it with a bit of salt and pop it into my tomato-hole.

I don’t know if there’s a medical term for it, but I reacted to all the acid in the tomatoes and got these huge red plaques all over my body with little pustules that looked like giant pimples. It *burned*. I was told to lay off the tomatoes for a few weeks and then to cut down and not have eat them every day. I’d…