I know there’s a comic book villain billionaire out to destroy Gawker Media, and y’all lost a motion in court yesterday so you’re probably having an all hands on deck meeting with staff... but that really is no excuse to delay Dirt Bag.

My pussies can just do this. Lie around after eating.

She was born with a silver-plated plastic spoon in her mouth.

If I hated my ancient mother in law as much as I imagine Amber does, there’s no way in hell I’d give her the satisfaction of witnessing the divorce. Amber Heard might be infinitely less spiteful than I am though.

It was Friday, around 3pm. She had just finished her show at Pitchfork day party and it was her first time hearing the song. We shot it in one take.

Your honor, my husband is being owned by a dickensian Australian politician.

It still seems a touch harsh...on a more upbeat note, these two couldn’t look more alike.

Even at his drunkest, Captain Jack would have gotten a damn prenup. The man was always one step ahead.

Not that spousal support can’t be valid but her asking for it seems ridiculous. She has steadily acted through the marriage in some major roles and the relationship likely helped her visibility. He should owe her nothing beyond half of what they jointly purchased.

NO PRENUP!!

With such a high-powered attorney you’d think someone would have advised him to sign a damn pre-nup.

Vanessa Paradis is cackling most delightedly in her French mansion with a glass of the good stuff and the pool boy.

So she’s saying the rich black family shouldn’t live in a nice neighborhood?

I’m with you my friend. Even lying on the bathroom floor beside the toilet, regardless of whether it makes direct contact, icks me out.

Huh, I would’ve given them a few years, though. This is fast.

Leslie’s laugh when Kate said she used to be an umpire killed me.

Eh, I don’t believe in Scientology, but I still love Beck.

Do you suppose she gives a shit whether you “believe in it” or not?