This is so creepy.

"I am not now to learn,'' replied Mr. Collins, with a formal wave of the hand, "that it is usual with young ladies to reject the addresses of the man whom they secretly mean to accept, when he first applies for their favour; and that sometimes the refusal is repeated a second or even a third time. I am therefore by…

I FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHY EVERYONE FEARS SPIDERS

Next thing he brings to the floor will be the Right to Shoot Veterinarians who Kill Puppies Bill.

Are we doing irresponsible analogies on the thinnest possible ice now? Cool. Isaac Lattrell is worse than Vidkun Quisling, because they both oppose Bolshevism.

Ok, who voted Forman into office?

Imagine discovering that it was actually a veterinarian who regularly ripped the heads off of puppies and crushed their skulls.

Some branches go by SPECTRE.

That's the least hyperbolic statement ever.

I believe Planned Parenthood prefers the moniker of H.Y.D.R.A

Mexico? Are we sure this wasn't just some kind of cold-weather hipster scorpion on its way home?

the permitting privs is a HUGE one that's working across the country, bc the average layman thinks it sounds reasonable, because they have 0 idea of what abortion procedures entail.

Ahem. It's actually spelled "Furguson."

And werewolves appear human ~28 days/month. That's a significant increase over your average congressperson of either party, to say nothing of Republican ones.

Good thing we teach everyone in school how to not get pregnant.

The Republican mindset:

The unbearable whiteness of Bobby Jindal's portrait.

Uhm. I could have a thousand kit kats for what my computer cost but I still need my fucking computer to do my work every day (so I can buy kit kats).

Man, I should've named this website "MyFuckedUpCuticles.Jezebel.com."

Jacob is "pretty cool."