Pretty sure they’re not called dongs over there, they’re called knobs.

Not many people know this but KatyPerrysBootyHole is actually Tim Kurkjian

What does that make the High Sparrow, then?

I’d argue that the Lannisters aren’t the Trumps though. The Lannisters are the Republicans as a whole. The analogy for the Republicans creating the Tea Party as a tool but having it ultimately backfire as it brought Trump to power is perfect for them. 

The annual Legends HR Derby.

How about giving Bonds, McGuire, and Sosa all a call for the undercard?

You can eat off of any engine bay if you’re just less picky about things.

First to 600 feet wins.

Coming soon: the Chrysler Town and Cuntry

That’s wrong. Aluminum bats swing faster (because they’re lighter), and hit the ball farther because they decompress much faster than wood.

I’d feel bad for Stanton, but then I’m reminded of that contract and how he can still opt out when he’s 30 if he somehow thinks he can make more than the ungodly amount of money he’s already guaranteed, while Judge doesn’t even sniff FA until he’s 31, which will cost him serious money.

Wait, which way does leftfield at Coors point? I am not certain I feel safe here in North Eastern Kansas if it points east.

Here’s my suggestion. Stanton vs. Judge. Pay-Per-View event.

Your move, Joel

I went into it thinking this was going to be the problem with both Stanton and Judge, as the main attractions they would wear themselves out putting on early Josh Hamilton-type shows and then have nothing left at the end. Which makes what Judge was able to do all the more impressive.

Someone is now generating House Hunters plots with a Twitter bot and they sound hilariously, disturbingly accurate:

Shown: Donald Trump doing the same thing.

Man, could you imagine how many games he’d miss in a 162 game season?

My wife can’t stop watching the house buying shows on HGTV. I have taking to throwing terrible buyer catch phrases at her in annoying voices or inserting my own intro voice over.

Are you kidding? that house is 1000x (maybe 1002x) better than original. you want to ‘preserve’ the historical old homes.... but have you ever been to Waco? The town is littered with these older houses. And, by that I do mean literal litter. Town is a complete shit hole. At least they are fixing up a house and…