I didn’t even know that that was a thing. Where should I look for a green case? If truth be told, I’d prefer a mint green one to a lime green one, anyway.

I had a dream last night that I could travel through time and so my ex-husband and I saved his father’s life by warning him about his skin cancer. (It didn’t really make sense.) After that, my ex decided he still didn’t want to be with me because I complained too much, and I begged him to reconsider, and he…

God fucking dammit. I JUST BOUGHT THE GALAXY NEW 3DS WISHING IT COULD BE GREEN. Fuck fuck fuck.

My dad voted for Trump.

I teach high school. Last week, we were all told to “celebrate Greek life on campus” as part of “College and University Week.” I wanted to shoot myself. But this is how Greek life is still a thing.

Why can’t we just turn his microphone off, take him off the show, and ignore him forever? Every single person who speaks and acts like him is just making the show worse. And I’m not even sure if I mean the television show, the show the Republicans are trying to put on, the show Trump supporters are trying to put on,…

Two o’clock, and already I’ve had enough internet?!

I thought I was indifferent toward her but now I hate her. I WISH I LOOKED LIKE THAT IN THOSE SHIRTS.

What, did they run out of ways to screw over the gays?

I wonder what it’s like to be the woman they pick to be their mouthpiece and implied representative of everyone with a vagina.

What is up with all of the lame amiibos? I should have realized before I got to the sale page, but it’s all like... Animal Crossing. Shit like that.

Every time I go into a store and look at the ones they have, it’s the same thing. Who goes and buys Resetti and the mailman and who the fuck ever?

I want Zelda, Peach,…

What is up with all of the lame amiibos? I should have realized before I got to the sale page, but it’s all like...…

Fuck ‘em.

This doesn’t seem unreasonable to me, but we have to trust prosecutors not to bring a ten-year case with no evidence but the word of the involved parties.

Grantt with two t’s, huh? I’m too lazy to check whether or not that’s a typo, and I’m fine with it. Fucking Alabama.

NATHAN FILLION!!!!!!!!!

Well, if he had just listened to the police when they told him to stop being black and disabled, it would never have happened! Besides, it’s his own fault that the shooting wasn’t in any way justified. If he’d wanted to be shot justifiably for being black and disabled, he should have been armed.

Why they’re not following orders is not the point--the point is that simply disobeying a cop should not get you shot. The punishment for intransigence is not instant death.

Refusing to follow an order should not get you shot.

I don’t know how to use a gun. It would be ridiculous for me to have one in my class. :P

Can I use that address to send her a letter?