It has the added advantage of making his fingers look short af though.

I assume Chris Christie was unable to be reached because he was out getting everybody’s donuts and Starbucks?

“Poonghazi”

I still wonder which McCain is the real one - the moderate who ran against Bush in the primaries, or the nutcase who emerged after the rise of the Tea Party.

McCain has always been a fraud. The “Maverick” was for suckers.

Remember that 5 minute window back in 2000 when John McCain was regarded as a refreshing change of pace Republican, a straight shooter who even democrats could respect?

Whoever leaked the tape is a true patriot. Not all heroes wear capes.

Right? Those poor, shocked and appalled cats.

I like how the cats are appropriately distressed looking

Zee-oh-em-geeeee, that paper has been waiting its whole LIFE to make that cover happen!!

Tabloids sometimes get the job done. I love the kitties!

Glad it was leaked. This cover was meant to happen.

so you can masturbate, text and drive at the same time?

We really shouldn’t judge before seeing how hot the second cousin is.

Oh, don’t get me started on her shit abbreviations. It’s not an effective abbreviation if you re-explain it every time you use it.

I enjoy splashing some apple cider vinegar around every once in a while

Fuck yeah it is. 1.2 million a year for 18 years? A lot of people hate their exes for free.

As I head to work, Dirtbag has inspired me to pursue the new profession of getting knocked up by a famous person. Preferably not an anti semitic, racist asshole, but definitely one who can afford 100K in child support.

Ben has to be telling the truth now though, because otherwise what are his options...to wear a shirt to the beach for the rest of his life?

question: is it worth it to sleep with mel gibson if nine months down the road you get 100k in child support?