Yo.

And Kobe isn’t missing any playoff games this year due to injury.

Everyone who brandishes a piece over a traffic beef is though, you dunce.

Give him his Deadspin Hall of Fame nomination now at least. If the dictionary needs an image for the word “Welp”, this is it.

OH HELL NO

Sure. Eliminate conferences. There is no East. There is no West. No Up. No Down. Just circles of friends holding hands and putting snipped flowers into the barrels of rifles. Am I an Irish boy from Chicago or am I a being of pure energy born in the sun and to the sun returning, a circle unbroken and timeless? There…

It’s safe to assume this never would’ve happened with a player from Anglo State.

That little boy’s bobbing head is creepy.

My dad once stopped mid sentence and walked out of the room. That was 13 years ago. I’m still scared he is going to come back and finish the conversation by caving in my skull.

Every week I read the funbag at work on lunch and enjoy it.

I had sex with my date in the backseat of my jeep cherokee while my best friend Paul drove it home. He was alone as his date had bailed on him to go to some party at Rick’s house...Rick was a cool guy soccer player. I brought this up very often over the remainder of our time in high school.

He said heart attacks — not nitrates, aspirin, or beta blockers — are a part of the natural world. "Unfortunately, they mean that some people get sick and some people die," he said. "But the reality is that we can't just fill people with chemicals."

Yep