Brad Penny! Heath Bell! Jason Marquis! All they’re missing is Jeff Suppan.

Ron Coomer almost hit me with his truck outside of Wrigley Field a few years ago. He did the “oops, sorry!” hand wave. Seemed like a good guy.

I was getting kind of worried we wouldn’t see Dennis again, because of the implication.

True, Chipper was too good to be A Guy. 

Great story about Ankiel, but the real story is that lineup card of Some Guys. I don’t think I could put together a better list of Some Guys if I tried.

She has a severe case of Boomer Internet Brain Poisoning.

Vince Young was definitely capable of playing in the NFL, talent-wise. He just had a bozo for a coach and a crippling Cheesecake Factory addiction.

A classic case of Blaine Gabbert syndrome.

Roz/Daphne would be an alright stand-in in that regard, but I do think any revival would suffer due to the lack of John Mahoney.

The Stroker.

As an individual with a large melon, I appreciate the trend of increasingly deep hats. They make my huge head look normal, sort of like a forced perspective shot or something.

*Chris Berman Voice* The New York FOOTBALL Mets.

It’s the same morons who think that higher salaries for players are directly responsible for higher ticket/concession/parking prices.

Danzig Wolverine would’ve been the funniest goddamn thing of all time. I’m so mad that didn’t happen.

I preemptively give “Us” five bags of popcorn.

Yeah, I just don’t think RoboCop works without Verhoeven.

Like when they fed a bunch of Reddit posts to an AI and made it go insane.

Turbofrauds.

If I hadn’t discovered Primus as a youngster who wasn’t swayed by such nonsense, I never would’ve gotten into them.

This was my pick, too. I know people who absolutely love them, but I could never get past the name.