Bill Hicks.

I gotta update my Hicks power rankings.

Remember when everyone thought he was some sort of Machiavellian genius because he read The Art Of War? It turns out he's just another bloated, racist turd.

Sorry, Reince Priebus is no longer part of his administration.

She's worse than Taylor Hicks. A major feat.

She's now firmly the second-worst Hicks, but she has a long ways to go before she can pass Bill for the top spot.

Donald Trump doesn't fuck.

No, fuck all those guys. They know what they're signing up for.

There was a Dear Prudie question pertaining to that a few years ago. Two fraternal twins brothers were in a live-in romantic relationship and weren't sure how to come out to their friends and family about it. IIRC, they were both out as gay, but the details of their relationship were still private.

Goddammit is my favorite swear, and nobody utters it better than Sweet Dee.

WELL, his family is originally from Braavos, so it's not the most outlandish theory in the world.

I could get on board with Jaime and Cersei being the Mad King's bastards, but Tyrion has to be Tywin's true son in my book.

I don't think Westeros has anything akin to a civil ceremony, so it would have to be some sort of Septon or similar religious figure. But again, the point stands in that it stretches logic to a pretty serious degree.

Sam went out to get a pack of cigarettes and never came back.

And I'm sure Dany and her weapons of mass destruction will just roll over and give up now.

Check out my comedy special Millennial Humor. It's an hour of jokes about Robbie Williams's smash hit "Millennium."

Slang was invented by the Dreaded Millennials.

Counterpoint, that one sucks. Seinfeld Current Day has run its course, but Seinfeld Today always sucked.

BOTTOM TEXT

My only quibble with Felix's rant (and I say this as a Cubs fan) is that he seems to be describing the goobers who come in from the suburbs instead of the actual Wrigleyville residents. The worst Cubs fans are the ones who descend upon the city like locusts, vomit and make a big scene, then go back to Arlington…