Felix's fixation on stolen valor is great. Stolen valor is one of those weird, obscure internet things that you only stumble upon by spending way too much time watching YouTube videos.

His audience is the inspiration for the "NYC Guido Voice" account.

Ayy yo duke!

How dare you sully the Red Mamba's good name like that.

I said it somewhere else recently, but he's like an alternate universe Beastie Boy where they never made Paul's Boutique and faded into obscurity after trying to re-create Licensed To Ill a few times to no success.

He's the real life version of Lil Kevin from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

His pubes are just a glued-on Brillo pad.

I won't be happy until Sexy Mr. Clean hangs dong in a commercial. That's what the people crave.

Yeah it looks like Frank carries a snub nose .38. I shot one of those things once, and I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with it from 50 feet away.

Right, there's an alternate universe where Dennis is soulless corporate executive, Charlie is an acclaimed musician or playwright, and Mac is a happy, proud and musclebound gay man. Frank was successful, but chose squalor so he's already living his best life. Dee would probably still be a hopeless failure, but at…

Frank's little gun is such a good prop. I'm glad it made an appearance.

Frank's Fluids is such a horrifying and hilariously on-brand name for a company.

My dad was able to score some Schlitz bottles not too long ago. I have no idea where he bought them, but you're right, it's really good out of a bottle.

In that case, High Life is the best shitty beer.

Does High Life count as a shitty beer? Or is it more of a mainstream macro beer like Bud/Bud Light/Coors Light/Miller Lite?

Yeah, there's one concession stand in the bleachers that still sells it. I always make sure to get one when I sit out there.

Generally speaking, if you're on the north side of Chicago and see a bar with an Old Style sign, you're in for a good time.

Schlitz is a good shitty beer, too.

A.M. was fine, and I think the high points of Being There are among the best songs Wilco has done, but I always thought it needed some trimming. I haven't listened to a ton of Son Volt outside of Trace, but it seems like Farrar just kept going back to the alt-country well while Tweedy made Summerteeth and Yankee Hotel…

Every little thing is gonna tear their dumb opinions apart.