I think it's pretty fair to speculate that either of those actors would've been an upgrade. Another potential upgrade: a sheet of plywood with a frowny face drawn on it.

So, would Christian Bale have saved Attack of the Clones, or would Attack of the Clones have ruined Christian Bale?

It's definitely more of a headphones album. It's not grabbing me right away the way RTJs 1 and 2 did, but I still love it.

I'd like to see him get back in the studio with those four lovable lads from Liverpool.

I'm not sure if you're a podcast listener, but Adam Curtis was on Chapo Trap House last week and it was awesome. He made me alternately really bummed out and slightly hopeful.

I'll even go to bat for Dark Knight Rises. It's an overlong mess, but I still like it.

This movie obviously looks terrible, but it does sound like one of the movies titles made up for Seinfeld. I could see a double feature with this and Prognosis: Negative.

The main difference between the two movies is that Collateral Damage rules.

The role really moved her…TO A BIGGER HOUSE!

That was the most relentlessly joyless movie I've ever seen. I know it was supposed to be downbeat, but come on.

I also hate clapping at movies. It's stupid.

For me, they're totally symbolic of that late Clinton-early Bush housing bubble that eventually tanked the economy. I lump them in with gigantic, fuel-wasting SUVs and other excesses of that era.

A lot of the Chicago suburbs, especially out west, were already preexisting towns that were sort of absorbed by the sprawl decades ago. I think that helps them not feel so cookie-cutter.

I initially read this as "southern rock opera" and thought Reba was going to dramatize the Drive-By Truckers album.

Concrete is real good. I'm bummed I missed them when they came through Chicago a little while back.

He stopped doing those movies because there were too many dang hunks around, ya dangus.

I wonder how Bubb Rubb is doing these days.

Canadian Star Wars, the adventures of young Jedi Gord Skywalker.

"Ayy I'm minin' ovah he-ah!"

They even let Brad Pitt speak in his native Ozark tongue.