Yeah, definitely follow up on this. Because the fucking bartender is definitely privy to Four Seasons legal thought process, and he’s learned that they already huddled up in Toronto head quarters the Sunday morning after the incident and determined they might press charges. This is a good lead.

One of my favorite sports stats (and I may not have the exact time period correct, but all else is):

MLB: Now 5% Faster! You’re Welcome, Millennials!!

You’re right; totally something that doesn’t require explanation.

“You think that’s gross?” -Gorbachev

Love how Dave was genuinely giddiest about Peyton Manning.

I personally don’t think she is too old to play the lover of a 55-yr old; I just think she looks too old to play it.

No chance. It's gotta be 2.

Hmmm...I wonder what the analytics would say about which way these two changes swing the numbers to what you should do. The kick is harder, but you can now potentially give 2 points (I assume) to your opponent. I hope we get to where we’re going for 2 every time. Or better yet, make the extra point a play run from the…

When asked, John Wall said Len Bias was like a father to him.

He died doing what he loved to do: supposed to be dying.

I think the point is that everyone knows he didn’t need to do this to win Super Bowl(s), and now because it looks like he cheated (unnecessarily) and lied (most definitively), this stigma will last with him forever no matter what happens going forward. This will show up somewhere in the first paragraph of every single…

Hey Pittsburgh Penguins, you just got your asses kicked by a bunch of goddamn nerds. NERDS!!

It was Thomas Edison, who helped assuage his stress by reminding him that he hasn't failed, he's simply found 1,000 ways to not deflate a football below 12.5

And when he said “Don’t worry, I’m not going to ESPN...yet”, that was just an acronym for Eat Special Paleo Nuts.

Why did they suspend a guy without pay for just trying to lose weight? Seems kinda harsh.

How'd you get to waive your Amex platinum fee? Thx

There was no direct evidence whatsoever that Sean Payton, who was suspended for one year, had any knowledge or involvement. What we have here is a willful participant to rule-breaking/cheater.

Three adjectives I thought would never be associated with Tom Brady: Cheater, Liar, Giant Cock. That he is clearly all three is kind of mind-blowing.